About three years ago I went to bed feeling fine, however on waking up it felt like I had messed myself and whilst I am old I am not that old!
I tried to get out of bed carefully but noticed the offending lump was coming with me so I had to investigate. I found a haemorrhoid / pile the size of a nice plum I had heard these things described like this before but had thought it was an exaggeration, but no, this one would have looked fine on a greengrocers shelf!
At this point my wife realised something was amiss and asked, “you ok”, I told her about the thing and she said, “let me have a look to check it out”, I will not print what she said but the second word was hell!
The only way I could be remotely comfy was to lie on my back with my legs apart thus suffering embarrassment and frustration in equal measure. My wife went and got Haemorrhoid cream from the chemist which was as much use as the well-known chocolate teapot.
The only relief came from an ice pack which reduced the size of it by 50%. Over a week while this was going on my wife went online and found the “eXroid” treatment in Canterbury and made an appointment. Being a bloke the idea of someone messing about with my rear end was right up there with eating worms but desperate (and I mean desperate) times call for desperate measures. So I put on sunglasses turned my collar up and went to the appointment.
The gentleman carrying out the treatment was a really nice bloke and I was put at ease as well as I could be, in this situation. I was a little taken aback that a female nurse was present then again I don’t know which I would prefer Male or Female I just wanted the wretched thing gone. As it happens she was very nice and chatty and we soon were having a conversation about motorbikes even though a little surreal in the position I was in!
The treatment is slightly uncomfortable unlike the haemorrhoid / pile which was extremely (and at this point I would like to use bad language) uncomfortable.
Three years on and the purple monster has not returned should I give birth to another such monster in the future I will be heading to the Clinic with no hesitation highly recommended, top class service.